Postal 4: No Regerts Review - Nothing But Regrets

The Steam page for open-world first-person shooter Postal 4: No Regerts markets it as, "The long-awaited true sequel to what's been fondly dubbed as 'The Worst Game Ever,' Postal 2!" If developer Running With Scissors' goal was to live up to this legacy and maybe even outdo itself, then it succeeded with aplomb. Postal 4 is an abysmal video game. It's mind-numbingly dull, its combat is unenjoyable and lifeless, its humor is unfunny, and it's plagued by myriad technical issues, glitches, and crashes. This is a series that gained traction by courting controversy at a time when pearl-clutching over video game violence was world news. Postal 4 can't even claim to be problematic, as its bloodshed is notably tame by today's standards, and any jokes that might be considered offensive are too focused on lazy stereotypes to be considered noteworthy.

Postal 4's basic setup sees the Postal Dude return along with his loyal canine companion, Champ. After taking a pitstop and forgetting to lock their car, the pair's vehicle, trailer home, and all of their earthly possessions are stolen, leaving them stranded at the side of the road with nowhere to call home. Fortunately, the fictional town of Edensin, Arizona is located just over the horizon, so the unlikely duo head there in search of employment and their stolen items.

Much like previous games in the series, you're given a different set of errands to complete each day, from Monday through Friday. These are mostly menial tasks like changing lightbulbs in the sewer, convincing people to sign a petition, and taking on the mantle of a prison guard for the day. Others are slightly more unusual, including one errand that tasks you with launching disillusioned Americans over the Mexican border using a makeshift catapult. The one thing all of these objectives share in common--and I can't stress this is enough--is that they aren't fun to engage with in any way, shape, or form. This is probably intentional in some cases, but to what end? Postal 4 doesn't offer a satirical critique of capitalism or anything like that; the game is just designed around dull busywork that proves more effective than any sleeping pills. Eventually, these odd jobs add more and more firefights, whether you're getting involved in shootouts with border patrol agents or an anti-bidet cult.